Love's Kiss

He comes to me 

In the darkest hour

Before the dawn 

With sweet promises

Dripping from his lips... 

Honeyed words 

To entice my cooperation 

Are whispered

While I am still half asleep... 

His eyes glow

Iridescent in the pale moonlight 

An ethereal gleam

That reflects untold delights... 

His icy fingers 

Brush over my fragile neck

And goosebumps break out 

Over my translucent skin

As the chill travels through my veins... 

He smiles... 

A smile that has seen millenia 

Of blood and war and destruction.. 

He blocks out the moonlight 

As he leans over

And embraces me... 

He brings his lips to mine... 

And gives me love's true kiss... 

The kiss of Death 

~S~

Beautiful Soul

Beautiful Soul

My heart 

Sings your praises 

Causing My eyes 

To overflow 

With pictures 

Of you...

Beautiful soul 

Your smile

Fills up 

The cracks 

In my broken heart 

And makes

Me feel 

Complete again... 

Beautiful soul 

Your arms 

So strong and powerful 

Give me courage 

To face 

Every challenge 

The world throws my way... 

Beautiful soul  

I pray 

That you will 

Always be 

Mine alone

Forever 

By my side 

My anchor 

In stormy seas

My Northern Star 

In the darkest times 

My everything... 

~S~

Silence

When I am quiet

You say it's okay 

You know that I am there 

I don't have to speak

But you cannot hear 

The echoes in my silence 

That call out your name 

It seems as if 

You don't even care 

When hours, days, weeks and months 

Pass us by 

With me being quiet 

And you saying it's alright 

That we don't need to speak 

To know we're still there 

What happens though 

When one day I am gone 

And that day you will need 

My company the most? 

Will my silence still be ok 

Once it becomes permanent?

~S~

At the Edge

I put in the effort

I did the training 

Blood sweat and tears 

Collected in a crystal decanter

As I worked my way 

To the top of the mountain 

Here I stand

King of the world 

Yet so alone 

I feel 

This flutter in my heart

When I stand at the edge 

And look down into the abyss

Why am I not satisfied? 

All this work 

Is it for nothing? 

Or is my greatest achievement

Not merely 

Reaching the peak

But being able 

To leap from it 

Without regret...?

The wind echoes 

The beat of my heart 

And all I hear 

Is jump....

~S~

Learning life's lessons

If I can't talk to you

In my deepest sorrow 

How can I share with you 

My greatest joy? 

If I can't share

My darkest fears

How do I tell you 

What brings me sunshine? 

If I cannot turn to you 

When I am at my lowest 

How do I come to you 

When I soar? 

If you are not there 

When I need you the most 

How we just enjoy 

The simple moments together?

When I reach out to you 

And my hand grasps empty space

I'm learning how to cope 

Without you by my side 

It's a lesson I have to learn

To face the world alone 

To deal with the disappointments

And still come out on top 

~S~

Perfect...

He says I'm perfect

Just the way I am 

But I wonder 

When he looks at my scars 

Does he fear me? 

Do the battles I have fought 

Intimidate him? 

He says I'm beautiful 

And grow more so each day 

But this doubt creeps in

At the back of my mind 

What if this is just a sweet lie 

A temporary temptation 

Until someone better 

Catches his eye? 

He says I'm perfect 

And I don't need to change 

Yet I feel inadequate 

Like a weed 

In his garden of perfection... 

Yet he still insists 

That I am perfect 

Just the way I am.... 

~S~

38 Sleeping Pills

I unscrew the bottle cap

And empty out the pills 

Onto the kitchen table... 

There's 38 pills in the bottle 

I know nothing else 

But I know this

I sat and counted them 

One lonely evening 

38 Sleeping Pills in a bottle... 

I don't know how I feel 

And I don't know what to think 

But I do know 

That those 38 pills

Can open a doorway 

To another world 

I don't know who sees my pain

And I don't know how to share it 

But I do know 

That I have 

38 pills in a bottle 

And they could take the pain away 

They call out to me 

Those pills in that bottle

They sing me a sweet lullaby 

Of lands unchartered 

And depths undiscovered 

And I feel myself lulled into oblivion 

By the 38 Sleeping pills 

In the bottle beside my bed... 

Just 1 will do the trick 

But if 1 feels so good... 

Surely 37 more

Will feel even better... 

So I count them again... 

I have 38 Sleeping pills 

In a bottle.... 

~S~

I miss you

As the sun

Sings her melody

And flows 

Over the land

There are clouds

Weeping 

A little storm 

Within my heart 

The birds

March to the beat

Of the drums

Of their people 

While emptiness 

Crowds my soul

All of nature

Runs around

Working hard 

Taking advantage 

Of this beautiful day 

But memories of you

Fill my mind

And I am paralyzed 

With grief.. 

I dreamt of you

And it felt so real

That when I awoke 

I expect to hear you 

Call out my name

And in the resounding silence 

My heart broke 

Over and over again 

I miss you...

~S~

Empty Promises

These empty promises

I make to you 

Of how things will be 

When we're together 

They play on my conscience 

But the truth is 

We both know... 

These words 

They mean nothing 

They are a sweet fantasy 

In the midst of

A sweeter moment.. 

But all they will ever be 

Is a pipe dream 

And an empty promise 

Of things we wish we had 

But never will... 

~S~

The Attack

A frisson of fear 

Runs down my spine

As the monster

Extends its tentacles 

Towards me

Slowly sliding

Up my torso 

It wraps around 

My fragile neck 

And slowly starts

To apply pressure 

It's getting harder 

To breathe 

And stars dance

Before my eyes

Tears roll down

My cheek 

And the world 

Fades away

I gasp 

But there's no air 

I try to fight 

But I have no strength 

And I slowly give in

As the panic 

Takes over

And the anxiety 

Is victorious 

In its stealthy attack.... 

No More Regrets

Emblazoned in my mind

Are multitudes of regret 

Of those times when I forgot

Who I am and what I am made of... 

Those times when I chose to be

Who you wanted me to be

Instead of who I should have been 

Every whisper 

Every touch

Those moments 

That felt so right

Those choices I made

That were good at the time 

Return to haunt me 

Over and over again 

I regret every decision 

That was made over time 

When I chose to please 

The wrong half of us

I gave you my all

And you played it like a game 

And I lowered my standards 

Hoping you would see 

My sacrifice for you 

And in the end 

What I'm left with is 

A neglected me... 

So never again 

Will I stoop so low 

And never again

Will I let regret 

Be the norm... 

The one I bare my soul to

The one I bare my soul to

Cannot seem to see

Just how important

He is to me

The one I bare my soul to

Thinks that this is a game

And what we have

Has no given name

The one I bare my soul to

Does not understand

He holds the key to my heart

In the palm of his hand

The one I bare my soul to

Is the only one who's blind

To what secrets my heart holds,

Those treasures he needs to find... 

So I say this tonight 

To whom I bare my soul... 

You are the other half 

That makes me whole... 

~S~