The Attack

A frisson of fear 

Runs down my spine

As the monster

Extends its tentacles 

Towards me

Slowly sliding

Up my torso 

It wraps around 

My fragile neck 

And slowly starts

To apply pressure 

It's getting harder 

To breathe 

And stars dance

Before my eyes

Tears roll down

My cheek 

And the world 

Fades away

I gasp 

But there's no air 

I try to fight 

But I have no strength 

And I slowly give in

As the panic 

Takes over

And the anxiety 

Is victorious 

In its stealthy attack.... 

No More Regrets

Emblazoned in my mind

Are multitudes of regret 

Of those times when I forgot

Who I am and what I am made of... 

Those times when I chose to be

Who you wanted me to be

Instead of who I should have been 

Every whisper 

Every touch

Those moments 

That felt so right

Those choices I made

That were good at the time 

Return to haunt me 

Over and over again 

I regret every decision 

That was made over time 

When I chose to please 

The wrong half of us

I gave you my all

And you played it like a game 

And I lowered my standards 

Hoping you would see 

My sacrifice for you 

And in the end 

What I'm left with is 

A neglected me... 

So never again 

Will I stoop so low 

And never again

Will I let regret 

Be the norm... 

The one I bare my soul to

The one I bare my soul to

Cannot seem to see

Just how important

He is to me

The one I bare my soul to

Thinks that this is a game

And what we have

Has no given name

The one I bare my soul to

Does not understand

He holds the key to my heart

In the palm of his hand

The one I bare my soul to

Is the only one who's blind

To what secrets my heart holds,

Those treasures he needs to find... 

So I say this tonight 

To whom I bare my soul... 

You are the other half 

That makes me whole... 

~S~

Melodies in the Storm

The wind sings out his name

As she howls past the windows

Seeking him out... 

Searching in corners 

Missing him so... 

The rain plays 

A steady drumbeat

In honor of him

A forlorn rhythm

In the silence of his memory 

His name is scrawled across the sky 

In bold neon lightning 

By the hand of angels 

Summoning him

Closer to her 

The thunders rolls 

And the storm beckons 

"Gather closer 

Listen to the symphony 

of heartbreak and misery 

Of her missing him

And him being unable to see" 

A sad love story 

Played out in the skies 

Timeless and true 

Forever 

Missing you... 

~S ~

Warrior

He says I'm a warrior

And he knows me best

So I guess he must be right... 

I gather my weapons 

And put on my armour

And I prepare to fight 

Out on the battlefield 

Blood streaming down my face 

I do not back down 

My sword sings

As it glides through the air 

All my fears lay thrown... 

I will not be defeated 

I will not give up

I will not rest 

Until I am 

The last woman standing... 

The best of the best... 

~S ~

Conversations...

I hold conversations with you

Inside my head

Secret talks 

That are privy to none but me

I tell you about my day

And how I'm feeling.. 

You tell me about yours 

As we hold each other 

We laugh together 

And I know I'm not judged... 

You hold my hand 

And share my thoughts 

And in those moments 

I have no secrets from you 

You know my desires 

And I know yours... 

Such special times 

That exist only in my imagination... 

In the real world,

You've had a hard day, 

I've been too busy, 

You can't tell if I'm down

And I don't know when you need me

Our words are sharp 

And our tones are hasty... 

But inside my head... 

Time slows down 

It's just you and I... 

And we talk 

Endlessly... 

~S~

Reminders...

Just when I start thinking

This time it will be different,

This time it feels real,

He reminds me...

I got comfortable 

With the daily chats

And constant concern,

But he reminded me... 

I thought this time, 

I would come first 

Because he makes me feel wanted 

And then he chose to remind me.... 

It occurred to me 

That we're meant to be 

Because we fit so well together, and, 

Once again, he reminds me... 

He continues to remind me 

With his words and actions 

And his roving attention 

That I am not good enough, 

But, This time I will not forget...

I am more than enough...

I am a gourmet meal 

And he snacks from a food truck...

~S~