Inside My Head

Scratching at these four walls

Trying to claw my way out

This windowless space

I can barely breathe

I am helpless

My very essence

screams out for help

My soul weeps

into its bindings

These chains

Wrapped around my throat

Constricting…

Tighter and tighter

I cannot escape

I am trapped

Within myself

The world passes me by

Yet no one sees

The panic behind my smile

I am unable 

To reach out

And save myself

Unable to ask

for help

I am stuck

Inside my Head...

Obsession

This fatal attraction 
that draws me to you
like a moth to the flame
I am unable to resist
your lure
as you pull me in 
your essence 
drowns my soul
your thoughts 
crowd my mind
your presence
ignites my desires
I am overwhelmed 
by you
my want
my need 
my obsession...

~S~ 

Never mine...

When I am with you

I forget…

…the past,

…the pain,

…who I am,

…WHAT I am.

When I am with you

There is…

…hope,

…love,

…passion.

When we are apart

I am…

…broken,

…forlorn,

…distressed.

Yet you are

…unattainable,

…Irresistible,

…never going to be mine.

 ~S~

Mercy...

Roughly,

Invisible hands

Hold my eyelids closed

Against my will

A kaleidoscope of memories

Of your face,

Your smile,

Your essence…

Flitter unabated

On this makeshift screen

The past bleeds out

as gushing tears

Unwelcome…

Unnecessary…

The pain that courses through my veins

Replaces the blood

That sang out your name

STOP!!

I can’t take anymore…

Free me from this prison

And wipe my mind clean…

Leave no trace…

I want you gone…

I beg of you

Have mercy

Relinquish your hold

Upon my tortured soul...

 ~S~

Unloved

A racing heart
An unquiet mind
So many thoughts
Many more regrets
Is this life?
This joyless existence?
Fear of happiness
Tremulous steps...
A step forward
A hasty retreat
The end result?
Stagnant and mouldering...
A rotting carcass
Forgotten
Discarded
Unwanted
Not needed...
Unloved...
~S~

Trapped

A dark room
Vibrations in the wall
Reaching out my hands
Searching...
A thousand eyes
Watching me
Silently
I feel them
As they crawl over me
Watching me
As I creep along the wall
Seeking
A way out
My infinite journey
Trapped
Within the recesses of my mind
Where the demons run free
And there's no place to hide...

~S~

Unrequited...

From within the walls of my memory cottage

Taking with them my thoughts of you 

The curve of your cheek

Slightly rough beneath my fingertips

The warmth of your hand 

As it enfolds mine

The gentle smile

Hidden behind serious eyes

The racing of your heart

As you grow closer to me…

Memories….

All imagined…