It lingers…uninvited

As the minutes turn into hours

And the hours turn into days

As the days turn into months

And the year fades away

Though I try so hard

To be brave and strong

I hold my head up high

And keep moving along

But this shadow never leaves my side

This memory in the recesses of my mind

A constant companion

That’s one of a kind

A whiff of perfume

An imagined touch

A lingering echo

My existence is such

Living in a world

Neither here nor there

Drifting between present and past

Belonging nowhere

The memories within my mind

Fight to come forth

Reminding me of my place

And exactly what I am worth

I can’t seem to break free

Of these mental ties,

So tightly am I bound

That I can’t tell truth from lies

The memories blur

And all become one,

Like a movie behind closed eyes

Reminding me I’m alone

I reach out hopefully,

For an anchor or a crutch,

Someone to encourage and love

And need me so much

Every glimmer of hope,

Every faint rescue attempt,

Leaves me even more empty

And looking at life with contempt

Why does the past haunt me?

Why won’t it let me go?

Why can’t I be free?

Why is this feeling so?

So many questions...

So few replies...

So many onlookers...

So few allies...

Who do I trust?

From whom do I run?

How do I feel again?

When inside I am numb...

~Shamshaad~